“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” ~ Colin Powell
Have you been in good company lately?
I have! I recently returned from 3 weeks away – and every day was in great company!
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” ~ Epictetus
Everyone we connected with on our travels, from international family members, the trainer and friend we met face to face for the first time after working together via the internet for the last 2 years, the leaders, trainers and friends at the two training conferences we attended had one purpose – to lift us up. We learned together, we laughed together, we shared and we grew together. We are better because we invested in ourselves, in our education, yes. But my husband and I are also better today and feel more empowered because of the calibre of the wonderful people we invested time with.
Who have you spent time with lately?
- How did you feel and act because of it?
- Did they care about you, give you energy?
- Encourage you to be the best you?
- Did you leave feeling the world was a better place because you know them?
We can’t choose our family, or often even our work colleagues but we can choose our friends and we can take responsibility for how we show up in relationships and where and with whom we spend our time. We all have responsibilities which may put us with people who bear a strong resemblance to vampires, or at least it feels that way, because of their amazing ability to suck the life out of us but we can manage that time and make sure we also spend time with those who lift us up and bring out the very best in us.
We all want to feel connected with those around us. Today we can hundreds or thousands of ‘friends’ online, but are they real. Conversely, we can have ‘real friends’ but do they lift us, encourage us, weary us or even demotivate us or worse lead us where we should not go and bring out the worst, rather than the best in us.
A Good Connection
‘A best friend is the friend who brings out the best in us” Unknown
Who brings out the best in you? Good Company is built with people with whom we make a ‘good’, not just a strong, or self-serving connection. Do you have relationships like this?
Have you ever thought what an ideal relationship looks like? To define and design better relationships High Performance Coach, Brendon Burchard recommends asking yourself some key questions:
- What kinds of friends do I want, exactly?
- What kind of lover do I want?
- How shall I attract, keep, and deepen my relationships with them?
- What defines a happy and deeply connected family relationship to you?
- What would you have to do to improve and deepen the relationships you have with your family members?
- What defines a happy and deeply connected friendship to you?
- What would you have to do to improve and deepen the relationships you have with the people in this area?
Repeat this questions for intimate relationships and for your relationships with your peers and co-workers.
Bring Out the Best In Others
Once you know what you are looking for, it is far easier to find. Not only do you notice the positive traits you are looking for more, but people will also tend to live up to them.
Of course, conflict still happens but we can deal with it positively. Research has shown that happily married couples who stay together for life have in common a ratio in which they share negative versus positive input. That ration if five positive inputs to one negative one. (Brendon Burchard, The Charge) How would your life change if you followed this practice in your key relationships?
Do you have friends in your life who encourage you to be your best? Friends who expose you to new ideas and adventures? Friends you can trust no matter what? These are the type of people who can be your ‘growth friends’ and the way you find them is simple – be one. Role model the types of relationships you want in life – not just for a day but always. Consistent effort and positive expectation can help you develop the caring, connected relationships that increase the joy of life!
Don’t make misery your company any more. Spend time with ‘good company’ and grow.
Brendon Burchard, in his book The Charge, talks about The Drive For Connection. To purchase your own copy of The Charge and dig deeper into this topic click here.
Head Photo and The Best Photo courtesy of Pixabay
Other Photos from the writers’ personal album.